Long Underwear for Long Sleep in Winter

This week I'm spending a few nights doing some bedroom consulting. I have a few friends who are having trouble find the right temperature when they're sleeping. If the heater blows, it's too hot and dry. You wake up with a leather tongue. Without the heater the room is too cold. In LA it may not get that cold but because of the lack of insulation and single pane windows it's tougher than you think to get warm. My friend complains of his arms being cold while he's sleeping.

For starters I bought him a long sleeve set of flannel pajamas. This should take care of the arm issue in short order. He tried these out last night and it wasn't enough. Okay, I'm pulling out the regulation long underwear. No poop shoot here. This is a two piece - the kind you'd wear cross-country skiing. If he's not warm sleeping this then I'll be convince he's just got a cold heart. We'll see how it goes tonight.

BW

Sleepwear for Dogs?

Last night we had high winds and low some of the lowest temperatures we've had in Los Angeles this year. My dog is generally a champion sleeper (trained by the best - wink wink)who sleeps straight through the night. But last night she jumped on the bed and woke me when she drove her nose into my ear. She was shivering.

Inviting her into the bed wasn't an option. You can ask me any day of the week and I will say that dog sleep accessories beyond a bed only serve to help the owner sleep better. But tonight I actually thought that maybe it was time to consider dog pajamas. I mean if not for her then for me and if not for me then for her and if not... Well maybe there's nothing wrong with dog accessories. After-all I was dreaming of... well you get it.

A Good Nights Sleep - Raising Sleep Awareness

My disqualification from the Global Sleeper Cross has brought me to consider the larger mission bestowed upon me by my career as a Pro-Dozer. I'm going to use the same time that I would have spent competing in the Sleeper Cross to raise Sleep Awareness for the multitudes of casual sleepers that are just trying to get by on a good nights sleep.

This is a sampling of basic sleep topics that I will cover in coming month in the hopes of promoting better rest world wide.

- Summer Sleeping indoors without an air-conditioner
- Summer Sleeping indoors with an air-conditioner
- How many hours should I sleep each night?
- Winter Sleeping indoors
- Raw Sleep (in the nude) versus outer-wear sleep
- What time is bed time for kids?
- Sleeping with a sun-burn
- Sleeping in the car
- How to sleep if caught in the snow
- Sleeping while stranded at sea on a raft
- Sleeping with pets
- Designer sleepwear versus discount sleepwear
- artifice Bed Decor
- Down pillows vs. synthetic
- Sex before sleep or after?
- Napping - When is it too much
- Lingerie vs. Traditional Sleepwear

Stayed tuned for updates so you can get the best nights sleep. See you in your dreams.
BW

Dreaming of the Eagles Soaring

The fact that the Philadephia Eagles logged a wild card victory over the Giants tonight reminds me that I haven't talked about the sports that inspire me. Well that's not completely true. You know how I feel about Vince Lombardi.

In light of the Eagles' victory, I'm about to go in and change my sheets. What will I sleep on tonight? What fabric and print will accompnay this pro-dozer's slumber. Official Philadelphia Eagles Nfl bedding. You might call it a guilty pleasure but I would tell you that if you're going to be a winner you've got to sleep with winners.

Good night.

Highest Thread Count Sheets

As I tour the country I'm constantly reminded that a large portion of the population is under the impression that higher thread count sheets will deliver a deeper richer sleep in the same way that naming your daughter "Tiffany" demonstrates that you have an elevated sense of taste.

Truth be told, anything over 500 thread count does nothing more your sleep than chrome rims do for cornering in a Range Rover. Honestly, you can approach me at the Pro-Dozer Awards in a Versace dress and tell me you sleep on a 1000 thread sheet set on Fridays and a silk 600 thread count sheet in your second country home and I'm not going to invite you to the after party. I can log richer sleep on my grandmother's ratty aphgan than you can on a 1000 mg of Royhpnol on a 1000 thread count sheet with diamond beaded fringe! Hey, sorry for the exclamation point, but I'm not only a pro - I'm a dozer purist.

I have to train so I don't have time for futher details but check out http://www.yvesdelorme.com/english/threadcount/threadcount.html for more details. "As a practical issue, just how many threads can fit into one square inch of fabric...?" And remember. Rich sleep has nothing to do with your bank account. If you're rich in heart you've got a good shot at being rich in deep sleep.

Sleeping on the Banks of the Ganges

The leader of a local church group grabbed me yesterday at the Victoria's Secret Roadshow. She was concerned about keeping the members of her group dry while the slept on the banks of Ganges during an upcoming pigrimage to India.

She was actually thinking of having each church member tote a single sleeper memory foam mattresses because she was so happy with her tempur pedic mattress topper at home. Hi-tech or not - the thing we all have remember about space aged bedding is that moisture retention is still a major factor. The key to sleeping on the banks of the Ganges is moisture elimination. I've slept on the Ganges, both on raft and on the banks and there's no easy answer here. But the single most important recommendation I could make was "wear a wool hat." Regardless of whether it's warm or cold out, the hat will retain your body so that even if you're sleeping wet, you're sleeping warm.

Sleeping with Izabel Goulart of Victoria's Secret

Yesterday I modeled a set of proto-type men's dozer gear at a Victoria Secret Sleepwear roadshow in Clearwater Florida. The rookie V Secret models were all giggles at the opportunity to share the run way with me. I had a long talk with Izabel Goulart about the pro and cons of sleeping in the nude year round. Not a conversation I wanted to have but her broken english was sweeter than a sugar plum dream. She said something like, but "I don't like pajamas womens." You mean women's pajamas. I almost didn't want to correct her. We quarralled over the issue for an hour or two. Finally, we both agreed to sleep it off in 15 minute head-to-head power nap. I was all set to school her but I waited for her to sink deep into the dozer zone before I did. While I watched her drift off into a soft Victoria's slumber I thought better of it and let her win.

Fredericks of Hollywood Promotional Appearance

Just finished a Q & A and autograph session at Fredericks of Hollywood in the Mall of America. Same questions as every tour. "Is an 800 thread count sheet actually any better than 350 thread count sheets?" The answer is no. When you cram that many threads per square inch your fabric actually balls off so your sheets shed. Would I recommend women's fleece sleepwear over natural fibers for a trip to Peru? Absolutley. Fleece handles variable temperatures and sweat like a dream. It's tough being in front of a crowd day in and day out when all you can think about is competing. I'm always the diplomat. I mean dozing is my life. The last thing I want to do is lose my cool and give a fan or casual sleeper a bad experience and give them insomnia. What kind of a Pro-Dozer spreads insomnia?

Even as I'm disqualified from the Global-Sleeper-Cross I still hold that it is the responsibility of the Pro-Dozer to promote good rest and that means keeping your cool when a PR woman from Canyon Crest Bedding shows up at a live broadcast Q & A session and tries to lead me into plugging her brand. Sleep is pure but not as pure as it was. When I closed out the session I could help but ask myself if we're jeopardizing the gift of sleep as we let commerce intersect with our dreams. Where should an athlete draw the line between pure competition and a job?

BW

While Pro-Dozers Sleep Around the World

I know I have a knack for always showing my fans a Roy Rogers attitude no matter how bad the odds but I want to let all of you know (against the my press agent's wishes) that I am P.0.ED I mean really PISSED OFF about being barred from the Global Sleeper Cross. What competitor wouldn't be? So I'm not gonna sugar coat just so sponsors like Wheaties won't cancel my contract. They can eat their Wheaties with Zidane.

Rather than receiving journal posts from inside the Global Sleeper Cross (GSC), I will keep you all apprised of a few of the highlights from my speaking tour at various sponsor stores across the country. A contractual engagement that I put off when I was in training for GSC.

BW

Disqualified from Global Sleeper-Cross

The Federation has decided to revoke my eligibility for the Global Sleeper-Cross. I really don't have much to say here as this truly an infuriating and unjust decision and I'm beginning to suspect that we may looking a conspiracy deep in the seats of the pro-dozer federation. I'm trying to share a positive attitude on this experience. I mean if you're going to be a pro-athlete you're going to have to learn how to deal with disappointment. And hey - you can't be disqualified if you're not a pro. And to all you kids out there. I'd like you to keep this in mind.

They can take away your human rights but they can't take away your talent.

BB

Williams’ Sleeper-Cross Eligibility under Review

The international sleeper-cross has been rescheduled to start on Jan 15 because of a dozer doping scandal. I wanted to let my fans know up front - so that everything is out in the open. The federation is considering revoking my pro-dozer status and disqualifying me from competition in the Sleeper-Cross. I wanted to be the first to make a statement before accusations spin out of control in the press.

As the federation was evaluating each dozer’s application for the sleeper-cross they performed (as they should) an exhaustive current and historical dozer doping evaluation. Four years ago I had a prescription for Ambien filled under my name for my ex-wife. As a result my eligibility is under review. I would like to emphasize that I have never taken Ambien in my life. Not during a competition. Not during a holiday. Never.

I know that that the federation is just running protocol in this case and I do appreciate the fact that the start date for entire event has been pushed back until January 1st 2007 in effort to give the federation enough to deliberate on my status. I’ve had some brief conversations with hall of famer dozers who are now on the federation to get an inside track on the situation and I can assure my fans and competitors out there that we’re really not looking at a threat of my being removed from the competition. For one, this competition needs Barret Williams to christen this event with the status it deserves and two; it’s not uncommon for a star – think of Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong to be used as a patsy to in order to serve the greater good. The great good being a dope free pro-dozer circuit. See you on the sleep-cross!

Barrett Williams Returns from Global Sleeper Retreat

The man that slept around the world in 180 days

Groggy apologies to all you dozers and dozer fans who must have felt so abandoned for last 9+ months that spanned my dozer training expedition. I had to put myself under the radar, off the map and into the global dreamscape. As many of you already know, the first Global Sleeper Cross will drift into gear on December 21 2006, or the night of this year’s Winter solstice.

But the guilt I feel at having left my legions of supporters without warning is only tempered by my success over the last months. Where was I? TRAINING. Yes. The best dozers sleep the hardest because they train. But before I go any further I have to thank my sponsors, The North Face, Dakine, Coleman, Volkl, and CamelPak for supporting what is sure to become a ritual and rite of passage for all competitive dozers world wide. My seminal Global Sleeper Retreat takes the street level approach and the “anywhere-anytime” attitude of New School dozing to a global, geographical, geological and absolutely sociological level that anticipates the future inter-planetary dozing. Trust me – I might be in my final sleep by the time the federation permits inter-planetary dozing. But mark my words. We all dream in space and will all dream in space. See where I’m coming from? Now I know I’m ranting like a world class surfer but then I remember that it was Vince Lombardi that said that “every dream is a wave and every wave a dream.” Ahhh. Vince. See. It takes a legend like Vince Lombardi to convince the world that dozers and surfers inhabit the same zones.

We’ve talked about training before so I don’t need to stress the importance of sleeping on site. Testing beds. Surfaces. Understanding the air flow of your sleep zone. I will cover all these things and more as I detail a few of the custom training sessions that I created specifically for the Global Sleeper Cross.

Night
BW

Wide Awake Sleep Fast - 2006

Friday’s ‘Wide Awake Sleep Fast’ session was the best ever! Vince Lombardi was definitely watching from the sidelines above. Lombo would be proud. Dozers drop his famous quote all over the circuit: “Great sleepers don't succeed on sleep alone. Great sleepers shape their slumber with the events of their waking lives. Having the full knowledge that every waking moment will contribute to or be reflected in his sleep, a great sleeper embraces each waking moment with a measured gusto; for it is our consiousness that defines our unconsciousness." V. Lombardi. But on Friday night WE LIVED IT!

I’d like to thank the core group of Dozers who put the pedal to the metal. Parents know how much I enjoy the Jr. Dozer Sleep-Away Camp but in terms of Federation Certified training, ‘Wide Awake’ is at the top of my list. I have to admit that I was so excited about this year’s event that it took me 8.5 minutes to slip into the zone on the night prior. So many Hall-of-Famers skip this event each year. But I’m not going to police attendance on this one. They’ll be here next year and we’ll have the edge. Dozers love what they do. Sleep that is. Any fan who knows me knows that I'm not single, I'm married to sleep. This relationship is a life-long commitment. Divorce is not an option for me. Strong as my love may be, I had a fantastic time staying up for not 24 but 32 hours during this session. My sincere thanks goes out to this year’s set of’ Wide Awake’ Dozers for making sleep starvation such a darn good time.

I can’t record the kind of breakthroughs the group achieves when we run waking drills for 24 hours straight through. Frankly, it just doesn't translate after the fact. Last night's attendees were the smartest, hard working group of Dozers I've met since the mid-nineties sessions at New York’s West 27th St. Hall.

In the past its taken me up to 4 hours to explain the driving force behind the this event. It’s really quite simple. If you want to sleep better, harder and faster you have to understand and study your conscious state. You have to map out your breathing, track your temperature cycles, eye dilation patterning, and of course be able to clearly identify when you feel tired. What time does it happen to you? Where are your serotonin levels when you feel tired, and where do they drop to when you push through it during a 'Wide Awake' session?

Event Stats and Highlights:
Star Time: 6pm Friday, January 13th

Crowd:
The crowd was diverse, black, white, Philippino, Latino, gay, straight, married, you name it. I even heard that there were a couple of “straight queens” at the session. I’m not quite sure what that means but it might make a winning match if the single gay dozers and these “straight queen” dozers pair up and sleep together at the Hampton’s Doubles matches in this spring.

New Dozer:
I had the honor of meeting the other half of a 'Figure Dozing' team that had since appeared solo. I had worked with Laura at a few other events and could see her potential but I couldn't get a handle on her competitive force without meeting her partner. I knew we had a couple of pros in-house when Stewart her husband and 'Figure Dozing' partner arrived with a set of rainbow colored pajamas.



Safety Naps:
Dozers, Sagi, Eileen, James, Laura and Zak all dropped into coma naps as a safety precaution when their dopamine meters went into the red. After a 72 minute coma each of then seamlessly jumped back into the session, renewed and vigorous. Hats off!

Aerobics:
The level 4 aerobics portion of the session was far more rigorous than last y ear. It’s not every day that you get to see athletes who are famous for sleeping working out a full-body sweat. No doubt this outstanding group intuitively understood that exercise is the balance of your sleeping and waking state and that every bead of sweat only serves to season our eminent slumber.

I admire where the New Schoolers are taking the sport but I have to let them know the Wide Awake Dozers, met directly with the Sand Man himself on Saturday morning and we’re coming into 2006 with a brand new bag!

Event End Time: 3pm Saturday, January 14th

Sleep well sleep hard! You earned it. Good luck on the circuit in 2006

Barrett’s ‘Wide Awake’ Sleep Stats
Nightly Session #12308
PREP: shower, fluid jettison x 2
Bed Time: 11:39pm Sleep Notes: Temperatue was perfect. The air, my comforter and my body were running at a match temp. Sleep movement was minimal. Wake Up Time: 11:40am Session Rating: 9.8. Dreamless but peaceful

Dozer in Training: How do I Pick the Best Sleeper Suit?

Sara "Get Sleep or Die Tryin" Summers said...
"Barrett,What type of Sleeper Suit do you recommend? I would really appreciate your expertise on such a highly critical matter. After scrimping & saving (and losing valuable sleep time worrying about it!), I've finally pulled together enough money to partake in the exclusive Dirty Dozen Boot Camp next month. I want to make sure that I'm as well prepared as possible to up my chances of making the team. It's been my dream as long as I can remember. Just in case it makes a difference, I'm an "Ambien mickey downed with a warm milk/chamomile tea cocktail while I hone in on my sleeping goals/possible setbacks/ aspirations for that night" kind of girl. I appreciate the feedback, and kudos for raising the competitive sleeping bar a little higher with each & every one of your mind-blowing sessions. Very impressive. "
5:55 PM
Barrett Williams said...
Sleeper Suits are for Sleeping – Pick the right Suit for You and Sleep DeepThe Dirty Dozen Boot Camp? Really? I remember when that was an after-school dozer program developed to keep the Boyz in the hood out the hood and in the bed. It sure has come along way since then. Last I heard, they were integrating Clown Dancing with Figure Sleeping and dreaming it out head to head on the street. I haven’t been down there in awhile so I know that myself (and the community in general) would appreciate any posts you can submit from the Dirty Dozen front.

While Sleeper Suits have come in and out of style among the pros, anyone over 25 on the circuit will agree that Sleeper Suits are to Competitive Sleeping what the Womb is to birth. As with slippers and general dozerwear, the perfect sleeper suit can be defined only by the sleeper. I say set all trends aside. Just because Maya Shape is wearing it to the Falklands Nationals doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Simply consider the following: 1. Sleep environment – Outdoors? Indoors? Winter? Summer? 2. Internal body temperature – are you a hot sleeper or a cool sleeper? 3. Versatility – are you looking for a suit that will let you sleep during any occasion during any season?

If I’m going Coma I almost always pull out a Sleeper Suit. And for me that always means a 1 piece. Don’t let dozer outfitters in Miami try to sell you a 2-piece Sleeper Suit. 2 pieces = pajamas! In the summer my suit might be a light pressed Egyptian cotton and in Winter I’ll turn to the old-school practicality of a waffle-weave. I find that flannel is too hot for my internal temperature no matter what time of year.Zippers vs. Buttons:As flashy as dozerware became in the 80’s, stay away from zippers. Dozers lose all the time because a hot, cold or jagged zipper shocks them awake. Buttons. Buttons all the way.Booties:All natural of course.

Don’t be drawn in by hi-tech fabrics like Polypropylene. Outdoor hiking fabrics and gear etc… should never be confused with dozerwear. Outdoor enthusiasts will always say the same thing. “Don’t use cotton as your first layer. It holds sweat in.” Ignore them. We’re not hiking we’re sleeping, and if we’re sweating then something’s wet in dreamland. Remember soaking in those plastic booties when you were a kid? Exactly. Make sure the bootie is the same natural fabric as the suit so that you have an even in, and out, heat flow from head to toe. Keep in mind that I consider the booties a warm-up tool. As you may know, I’m an open footed sleeper unless the conditions are adverse so I always make sure that my sleeper suit has half-detachable or fully detatchable booties so that I can generate flow-through from my head to my ankle cuffs. I hope that helps.Let us know about the Dirty Dozen Camp. We’ll be happy to open up a page where you can detail your experiences, training and heck even jot a dream or two.

Hey, and I love that you came right out about the Ambien and the Chamomile. So many young dozers start out lying to themselves and to their fans.

Introduction to Competitive Dozer Events

Event: Endurance Sleeping (ES)
Competitor Type: Long Distance Dozers

ES is exactly what it sounds like. Just because a challenger may log the most uninterrupted sleep doesn’t mean that he or she is the winner. Think you can take gold as as a Distance Dozer (DD) just by turning in a long Winter's nap? Think again, any Pro DD will tell you it's all about "going coma."


Winning:
A victory is earned based on a combination of the following scoring factors:

1. Duration of uninterrupted sleep. Slip into consciousness for even a heart-beat and you lose.
2. Form – Known as the Egyptian ‘tombing’ position, the most honorable, elegant, and powerful form for entering, displaying and maintaining restful sleep is on the back. The earliest artist renderings presented dozers on their backs. Eyes staring up at the heavens. This holds true today. Sleep through the entire event on your back and earn the most form points possible.
3. Zone Entrance: The first Dozer to lose consciousness (Zone Leader) earns 3 points to be used in his or her favor in the event of a tie.


Setting:
Traditional. Two Federation measured ‘body beds’ (beds that are just slightly wider than the human frame.) 100% cotton single layer Interesting Info:
On average, Pro Endurance Dozers will enter the Zone within 5 to 13 seconds and go coma within in 5 minutes. When a DD goes coma they enter a rarified sleep zone. Not surprisingly, a CAT scan of a DD and a comatose victim show the same electrical patterns in the brain. The current Endurance record is held by yours truly at 127 hours.

Event: Figure Sleeping

%0

Federation Approved Slippers?

I wouldn’t generally take issue with recommending slippers. The best sleep foot wear is always no footwear. The breathable foot is to a competitive sleeper, what a calve skinned boot is to a soccer player. Recently, my father, (who has always been a staunch ‘no-slippers’ man) asked me about federation approved slippers. Now I’m not sure if he’s developing a genuine interest in slippers or if Isotoner may have been touting federation recommended slippers as holiday gifts. Either way a raw, warm foot leads to a dreaming foot and dreaming mind. But there is much to be said for pre-sleep and post-sleep behavior and comfort. So in answer to my father’s question, I look for pure cozy pre-sleep comfort in chenille booties. Not every friend will knit them for you, but a passionate trainer or a custom endorsement program will certainly have you gliding across oak floors and into a feather bed faster than you can say Dr. Seuss!

Ever been to a Pro-Dozer Event?

It’s barely been two weeks since I launched this blog and hundreds of people keep emailing me to ask “How does it work?” “How do you compete?” “I’ve never seen a pro event. At least I don’t think I have” “What are the rules?” “Is it really a game? And if so how do you play it? How do you win? “Do you compete on the same bed as your opponent? What are a few standard sleep strategies? “Are there different types of events?” “Where can I download pod casts of the events?” “What network are you guys on?” When does the season start? Is there even a season?

I have to apologize because having slept on the circuit since my childhood, dozing has always been a part of my everyday life. I took it for granted if you will, and assumed that everyone knew as much about it as I did. This is just one of the psychological risks associated with going pro while you’re still an infant. They say Michael Jackson missed out on his child-hood. Well I find that hard to believe. I mean really, what’s more child-like? Singing and dancing and shouting and playing music on stage with your brothers or having to sleep in the spot-light in front of an audience, night after night while holding perfect sculpture form? So not only was I a child who was competing/performing but I was sleeping through it all. Talk about missing something. But I’m verging on the sensitive issue of Baby Dozers. How young is too young? Mike Wallace is developing a piece on this with me so I’ll save the discussion for 60 Minutes in the Spring.

Back to the topic. Your questions. All of them. I was wrong to assume that everyone understood the intricacies of comp dozing in the way that most people know that a quarterback is the guy who throws the ball. This week I will address all the questions listed above and more so that everyone can talk dozing like Cubans talk baseball. Sports bind countries together. Why is baseball America’s sport? I mean shouldn’t the sport that defines a culture be the sport that every single citizen plays every single day? I look forward to detailing the sport for all of you but I really must say, I’ve never been to a Monster Truck Event. I have no idea what goes on. I just figured, hey I guess the best truck wins. Does it matter how they get to the podium?

Sleep better in Style

If you're serious about sleep fashion then you know that natural fabric liners are the ticket to dreaming in style.

This was the first year that the fashion industry fully embraced the practical comfort and the universal appeal of Competitive Dozerwear. I never thought I'd lay down with the likes of Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell but there we were today together on the runway, dreaming it out across Washington Square Park in front the world's fashion elite. Competitive sleepwear looks simple but it's actually more complex than any high falootin "cuteore" fashion out there. Are you really gonna fall asleep in Gautier's pajamas? Anyone who's brave enough to
wear his pajamas is gonna hurt themselves. I mean not only does CDW have to look sporty but it has to be incredibly comfortable. I've been working with the same designer that knitted my first sleeper suit. Why have I stuck with her for so long? It's simple. I tried on that sleeper suit and it was so damn comfortable that I fell asleep as soon my mom zipped it up. Now that's comfort. And as Bill Blass once put it, "if you're not comfortable you're not fashionable."

good night
BW

Wave Goodbye to the Bed - The Future of Dozing

The Jr. Dozers banquet really got me thinking about where the sport has been and where it's going. It’s absolutely rewarding to watch the younger generation in action. New talent born out of different generational environments are changing sleep in ways that I never could have imagined. I’m seeing a raw or even street approach to sleeping whereas the founding fathers and mothers of sleep were all about making the bed as comfortable as can be. The perfect thread count, natural fibers, overstuffed pillows to support the neck, socks to protect the feet in the event that a foot rolls out into cold open air. In those days the strategy was nesting. The strategy was to bring the comfort to the setting.

The new school is doing quite the opposite. They bring the comfort to the sleep setting via an absolute comfort in one’s environment. I’m seeing some of the best sleep sessions taking place at skate parks. Two new schoolers were sleeping hard in the curves of cement half-pipe. I’m talking cement. No pillows. And these guys are sawing logs like they were on the clock at a mill for 7 hours. In daylight. There’s an entire crew now who sleeps exclusively in their SUVs. These guys are pulling out championship sleeps in their cars. That level of sleep. They’re falling into a refined elegant sleep. The kind of slumber you would only see coming out of master bedrooms. It really tells us something about environment. Our comfort zones. I’m starting to view the bed as an archaic sleep setting. A link in the chain of sleep development. I guarantee you that in 5 years we’ll have moved sleeping off of the bed and into the world. I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s evolution.

Jr. Dozers Awards Banquet

I was the guest speaker at the Jr. Dozer Awards Banquet this afternoon. It was a surprise and an honor to voted Dozer Role Model of the Year again. But accolades aside I wanted this crowd to understand that I'm not the teacher here. When the does the teacher become the student you ask? Well I have always been the student and regardless of my competitive record and my years on the circuit, I can say... Well actually let me give you a direct quote from my speech today.

"I'm honored that this audience, these Dozers, the future of sleeping, the future of dreaming as it were, would look on me at their role model. Me? I mean I sleep for a living (crowd will laugh lightly). But as I stand up here on this podium I step aside. (step to left) I step aside to all the little sleepers out in this audience who put their dreams to the test every night when they click their own snooze button. I have to say that I think it's ironic that I'm the 'role model' of the year, because truth be told, I can learn more from taking a one hour training nap with new school dozers like yourselves than I could teach you in life-time. "

It was just after Thankgiving and they served Turkey loaf. I wasn't surprised that most of the parents hinged their conversations on the Tryptophan doping scandal that plagued the league. That was almost two years ago. I tested negative. Enough. On top of that my physicians have documented the fact that I'm violently allergic to turkey...