Introduction to Competitive Dozer Events

Event: Endurance Sleeping (ES)
Competitor Type: Long Distance Dozers

ES is exactly what it sounds like. Just because a challenger may log the most uninterrupted sleep doesn’t mean that he or she is the winner. Think you can take gold as as a Distance Dozer (DD) just by turning in a long Winter's nap? Think again, any Pro DD will tell you it's all about "going coma."


Winning:
A victory is earned based on a combination of the following scoring factors:

1. Duration of uninterrupted sleep. Slip into consciousness for even a heart-beat and you lose.
2. Form – Known as the Egyptian ‘tombing’ position, the most honorable, elegant, and powerful form for entering, displaying and maintaining restful sleep is on the back. The earliest artist renderings presented dozers on their backs. Eyes staring up at the heavens. This holds true today. Sleep through the entire event on your back and earn the most form points possible.
3. Zone Entrance: The first Dozer to lose consciousness (Zone Leader) earns 3 points to be used in his or her favor in the event of a tie.


Setting:
Traditional. Two Federation measured ‘body beds’ (beds that are just slightly wider than the human frame.) 100% cotton single layer Interesting Info:
On average, Pro Endurance Dozers will enter the Zone within 5 to 13 seconds and go coma within in 5 minutes. When a DD goes coma they enter a rarified sleep zone. Not surprisingly, a CAT scan of a DD and a comatose victim show the same electrical patterns in the brain. The current Endurance record is held by yours truly at 127 hours.

Event: Figure Sleeping

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Federation Approved Slippers?

I wouldn’t generally take issue with recommending slippers. The best sleep foot wear is always no footwear. The breathable foot is to a competitive sleeper, what a calve skinned boot is to a soccer player. Recently, my father, (who has always been a staunch ‘no-slippers’ man) asked me about federation approved slippers. Now I’m not sure if he’s developing a genuine interest in slippers or if Isotoner may have been touting federation recommended slippers as holiday gifts. Either way a raw, warm foot leads to a dreaming foot and dreaming mind. But there is much to be said for pre-sleep and post-sleep behavior and comfort. So in answer to my father’s question, I look for pure cozy pre-sleep comfort in chenille booties. Not every friend will knit them for you, but a passionate trainer or a custom endorsement program will certainly have you gliding across oak floors and into a feather bed faster than you can say Dr. Seuss!

Ever been to a Pro-Dozer Event?

It’s barely been two weeks since I launched this blog and hundreds of people keep emailing me to ask “How does it work?” “How do you compete?” “I’ve never seen a pro event. At least I don’t think I have” “What are the rules?” “Is it really a game? And if so how do you play it? How do you win? “Do you compete on the same bed as your opponent? What are a few standard sleep strategies? “Are there different types of events?” “Where can I download pod casts of the events?” “What network are you guys on?” When does the season start? Is there even a season?

I have to apologize because having slept on the circuit since my childhood, dozing has always been a part of my everyday life. I took it for granted if you will, and assumed that everyone knew as much about it as I did. This is just one of the psychological risks associated with going pro while you’re still an infant. They say Michael Jackson missed out on his child-hood. Well I find that hard to believe. I mean really, what’s more child-like? Singing and dancing and shouting and playing music on stage with your brothers or having to sleep in the spot-light in front of an audience, night after night while holding perfect sculpture form? So not only was I a child who was competing/performing but I was sleeping through it all. Talk about missing something. But I’m verging on the sensitive issue of Baby Dozers. How young is too young? Mike Wallace is developing a piece on this with me so I’ll save the discussion for 60 Minutes in the Spring.

Back to the topic. Your questions. All of them. I was wrong to assume that everyone understood the intricacies of comp dozing in the way that most people know that a quarterback is the guy who throws the ball. This week I will address all the questions listed above and more so that everyone can talk dozing like Cubans talk baseball. Sports bind countries together. Why is baseball America’s sport? I mean shouldn’t the sport that defines a culture be the sport that every single citizen plays every single day? I look forward to detailing the sport for all of you but I really must say, I’ve never been to a Monster Truck Event. I have no idea what goes on. I just figured, hey I guess the best truck wins. Does it matter how they get to the podium?

Sleep better in Style

If you're serious about sleep fashion then you know that natural fabric liners are the ticket to dreaming in style.

This was the first year that the fashion industry fully embraced the practical comfort and the universal appeal of Competitive Dozerwear. I never thought I'd lay down with the likes of Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell but there we were today together on the runway, dreaming it out across Washington Square Park in front the world's fashion elite. Competitive sleepwear looks simple but it's actually more complex than any high falootin "cuteore" fashion out there. Are you really gonna fall asleep in Gautier's pajamas? Anyone who's brave enough to
wear his pajamas is gonna hurt themselves. I mean not only does CDW have to look sporty but it has to be incredibly comfortable. I've been working with the same designer that knitted my first sleeper suit. Why have I stuck with her for so long? It's simple. I tried on that sleeper suit and it was so damn comfortable that I fell asleep as soon my mom zipped it up. Now that's comfort. And as Bill Blass once put it, "if you're not comfortable you're not fashionable."

good night
BW

Wave Goodbye to the Bed - The Future of Dozing

The Jr. Dozers banquet really got me thinking about where the sport has been and where it's going. It’s absolutely rewarding to watch the younger generation in action. New talent born out of different generational environments are changing sleep in ways that I never could have imagined. I’m seeing a raw or even street approach to sleeping whereas the founding fathers and mothers of sleep were all about making the bed as comfortable as can be. The perfect thread count, natural fibers, overstuffed pillows to support the neck, socks to protect the feet in the event that a foot rolls out into cold open air. In those days the strategy was nesting. The strategy was to bring the comfort to the setting.

The new school is doing quite the opposite. They bring the comfort to the sleep setting via an absolute comfort in one’s environment. I’m seeing some of the best sleep sessions taking place at skate parks. Two new schoolers were sleeping hard in the curves of cement half-pipe. I’m talking cement. No pillows. And these guys are sawing logs like they were on the clock at a mill for 7 hours. In daylight. There’s an entire crew now who sleeps exclusively in their SUVs. These guys are pulling out championship sleeps in their cars. That level of sleep. They’re falling into a refined elegant sleep. The kind of slumber you would only see coming out of master bedrooms. It really tells us something about environment. Our comfort zones. I’m starting to view the bed as an archaic sleep setting. A link in the chain of sleep development. I guarantee you that in 5 years we’ll have moved sleeping off of the bed and into the world. I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s evolution.

Jr. Dozers Awards Banquet

I was the guest speaker at the Jr. Dozer Awards Banquet this afternoon. It was a surprise and an honor to voted Dozer Role Model of the Year again. But accolades aside I wanted this crowd to understand that I'm not the teacher here. When the does the teacher become the student you ask? Well I have always been the student and regardless of my competitive record and my years on the circuit, I can say... Well actually let me give you a direct quote from my speech today.

"I'm honored that this audience, these Dozers, the future of sleeping, the future of dreaming as it were, would look on me at their role model. Me? I mean I sleep for a living (crowd will laugh lightly). But as I stand up here on this podium I step aside. (step to left) I step aside to all the little sleepers out in this audience who put their dreams to the test every night when they click their own snooze button. I have to say that I think it's ironic that I'm the 'role model' of the year, because truth be told, I can learn more from taking a one hour training nap with new school dozers like yourselves than I could teach you in life-time. "

It was just after Thankgiving and they served Turkey loaf. I wasn't surprised that most of the parents hinged their conversations on the Tryptophan doping scandal that plagued the league. That was almost two years ago. I tested negative. Enough. On top of that my physicians have documented the fact that I'm violently allergic to turkey...

Send In Your Sleep Stats - Earn A Place on the Sleepers Wall of Fame

Email us the following sleep stats (Z Stats) and if Competitive Sleeper finds that sleepers can learn something from your Z stats then they’ll be posted permantly on under the Z Stats category. Sleep hard and sleep deep. BW

When submitting Z stats please include the following:

Name or Sleep Handle

Date of Sleep Event

Location (what country, state or part of the word)
Approximate Outside Temperature

Sleep Setting (i.e. bed, couch, tent etc…)

Quick Summary of what you did before you went to bed (i.e. ate dinner, watched TV, walked the dog)

List Your Bed Preparedness Rituals for that night (i.e. brushed teeth, took shower, made bed etc...)

Time You Went to Bed

Brief summary of your sleep that night? Was it comfortable? Did you dream? Did you wake up repeatedly? Did someone or something interrupt you? Was it too humid? Or Too Dry?
Time That You Woke Up

Session Ending Tools (i.e. alarm clock, dog or natural wake up)

Quick Summary of your first 5 waking minutes

Sleep Rating: Rate the quality of your sleep on a scale of 1 to 10. A 1 rating would indicate that the sleeper had such and uncomfortable sleep that he or she may have barely slept at all. If you rate a 10 then you’ve had an A list sleep session. You probably slept straight through, the temperature was probably perfect if not self regulating and you probably dreamed and can still remember your dreams. Often you can identify a 10 sleep just by examining the sheets and blankets. Because you are so comfortable during a 10 sleep you rarely move or toss and turn. As a result, you may notice that your sheets and blankets are barely disturbed after rising from a 10 sleep.

If You Sleep, Competitive Sleeper wants to hear about it

Whether you’re pulling down top slumber night after night or even if you’re struggling to lock down a placid 6 hour session Competitive Sleeper wants to hear from you. We want to hear about deep winter sleep filled with fairytale dreams and we want to hear about the sleep you missed. People who aren’t committed to sleeping will argue that “sleep is sleep it’s all the same.” Why would they want to read the seemingly banal details of your nightly efforts in bed? The goal of the sleep stats board is to help all sleepers become better sleepers through knowledge sharing. 1 out of 2 people (even pros) have bad sleep habits. As we develop an archive of the events leading up a sleep, the sleep itself, the dreams and the events that mark your rise to consciousness we can compare the individual details our sleep processes. An old friend of mine went for 10 years without being able to sleep through an entire night. He had to get up and pee 2, 3 sometimes 4 times/night. That’s no way to sleep. So as a favor I slept over at his place to get a sense of his process. It only took 5 minutes to find 2 glaring items that were contributing to his interrupted sleep.

His blankets were light synthetics. Synthetic blankets don’t hold heat so your ability to store the heat your body generates is significantly undermined. As a result you’re often sleeping about 2 to 5 degrees cooler than your body’s own natural target sleeping temperature.
He would drink a full beverage after dinner and then he’d interrupt his sleep session to sip off of a water bottle on his nightstand.

Both items can equally undermine a quality sleep. Put both of those issues together and you create a disruptive if not dangerous synergy that will chip away at your sleep. Make a note of this. The lower the body temperature the more sensitive the bladder. It’s simple. You don’t need to put a quart of water in a guy who’s not using insulated bedding to make him feel like he needs to pee. When you sleep cold a single drop of urine will ring your sensitive bladder like a school bell. Without getting to scientific I finally just recommended that he buy a down comforter and to stop drinking the water before and during bed. Beds are for sleeping. Not drinking. He followed my advice and 6 months later he was able to qualify for an endurance sleeping event that was sponsored by the Riverside Roller Rink.

So You Wanna Sleep Competitively?

When people see Dave Chapelle on the street they say “I’m rich bieecth!” And according to Dave, this even happens when he’s walking with his children. My fans don’t use foul language in front of my kids. I haven’t even got any kids, but still my success comes with a similar burden.

Invariably when children or adults meet me they get a glimmer in their eyes as if they’ve got their eyes on the stars. On a prize. On dreams themselves. Immediately following the glimmer moment comes “how can I get into sleeping competitively? Can you get me in? I have natural talent. I feel like I was born to sleep. If you would have seen the sleep that I turned out last Tuesday.” This question always amazes me because breaking into competitive sleeping isn’t like breaking to the movies in Hollywood. This is a craft (for some a sport) that we all have access to. You don’t need to invest thousands of dollars in equipment. You don’t have to travel to Madagascar to find the best dreaming conditions.

What distinguishes the pros and the recreational sleeper is dedicated focus. Plain and simple. Any one of us can drift off to sleep for 10,000 nights, but it’s the pros that enter each slumber with a mental encyclopedia of the elements of human comfort. For me, 10,000 nights are a reflection of the 10,000 days that lead me to each sleep. So you want to sleep competitively? I encourage it. Have at it.

Serious Sleepers Unite

A community for serious sleepers is born.

Follow real life behind-the-scenes drama leading up to a much anticipated bed time. I'll be getting ready for bed night after night with the dedication of an Olympic athelete. Night after night, season after season, year after year, I will get ready to sleep.

Great sleeping sessions are a result of rigorous training, focus and a willingness to sleep deeper, cozier and dreamier than the night before. When I wake from a great night's sleep I immediately think "how can I beat that? what can I do today to set the bed and my head so to speak to sleep even better than that?"

Whether you're a world class sleeper or an insomniac you no doubt value and work towards your own ideal sleep goals. Let's break out the terminology. A Competitive Sleeper is someone who takes their sleeping seriously. A Competitive Sleeper may be a master at grabbing a few winks at a stop light, or someone who can log 12 hours + of worry free sleep every night without a bathroom break. A great night sleeper may not be the best team member to compete in afternoon nap events. The last thing I want to do is create outsiders in the magical and serious world of sleep. I understand that everyone has their own process and their own scale on which they measure sleep success. There are no outsiders at Competitive Sleeper. If you have ever gone to bed then Competitive Sleeper welcomes you and the details prior to, during and after your sleep. Yes. Competitive Sleeper embraces insomniacs. Often I find that the insomniacs have such a deep appreciation for a qaulity sleep session that their appreciation for the act itself actually serves to underscore sleep value for those of us that do sleep and that sleep well. Ever find yourself losing your competitive edge? Maybe you go to bed with out fluffing the pillows or tucking in the sheets? You take what the night dishes out rather than really sleeping for the gold? A few nights of insominia always serves to push fading sleep stars back into the limelight.

Be aware that being the "best" or let's say the Lance Armstrong of Competitive Sleeping isn't about lazing or dreaming your way through the day. The "best" sleepers don't necessarily log the most hours. In fact, I've seen some of the most renowned endurance sleepers have their medals challenged on the basis that depression was fueling their sleep marathons. This is a topic that will be explored in a dedicated post. In short, great sleepers get the sleep they need when they need it. They lay down, they close their eyes, and they work at it through the entire session. It's that simple.

Think sleeping is easy? Think again. Sleeping requires a rarified set of ingredients that must blend at just the right time. Think of it as science. Room temperature, body temperature, light levels, seratonin levels, and bedding are just a few components required to set the stage for a top notch sleep. Even if you're master enough to align all of the above night after night then you still need to achieve a level of exhaustion that will lead your body to sleep. A day without just the right amount of exercise can lead to a sleepless night. Then it's back to sleeping in the minor leagues with hyper-active rookies and past-prime vets so desperate to achieve their life-long dreams that no one can catch a wink in the club-house.

Talk to some of the greats. They'll tell you that what you do with your waking hours is as important to your sleep session as the efforts you put forth when the lights go out. It's natural for recreational sleepers to assume that competitive sleepers compete because they're lazy much in the same way that non-basketball players assume that basketball players compete because they're tall. Not so. No matter what the sport, it's for the love of the game and as a note, studies have shown that the legends of sleeping (and you know who I'm talking about), have the most active and productive waking lives, next to seasonal fisherman. I'll close this out by quoting the first rule of sleeping as outlined by none other than Vince Lombardi. Most remember him based on his waking successes as the Green Bay Packers football coach. Winner of the 1st and 2nd Superbowls. But Vince Lombardi lead a second secret life. A night life. Filled with sleep. Great sleep. The quality of his slumbers only equalled by the quality of each victory on the field. In the past we had assumed that he retired each night like every Tom, Dick and Harry but his personal journals detail a strategic sleeper who turned in with a game plan every single night.

" Great sleepers don't succeed on sleep alone. Great sleepers shape their slumber with the events of their waking lives. Having the full knowledge that every waking moment will contribute to or be reflected in his sleep, a great sleeper embraces each waking moment with a measured gusto; for it is our consiousness that defines our unconsciousness." V. Lombardi

Upcoming - Recreational Sleepers vs. Competitive Sleepers