Sunday, November 27, 2005

So You Wanna Sleep Competitively?

When people see Dave Chapelle on the street they say “I’m rich bieecth!” And according to Dave, this even happens when he’s walking with his children. My fans don’t use foul language in front of my kids. I haven’t even got any kids, but still my success comes with a similar burden.

Invariably when children or adults meet me they get a glimmer in their eyes as if they’ve got their eyes on the stars. On a prize. On dreams themselves. Immediately following the glimmer moment comes “how can I get into sleeping competitively? Can you get me in? I have natural talent. I feel like I was born to sleep. If you would have seen the sleep that I turned out last Tuesday.” This question always amazes me because breaking into competitive sleeping isn’t like breaking to the movies in Hollywood. This is a craft (for some a sport) that we all have access to. You don’t need to invest thousands of dollars in equipment. You don’t have to travel to Madagascar to find the best dreaming conditions.

What distinguishes the pros and the recreational sleeper is dedicated focus. Plain and simple. Any one of us can drift off to sleep for 10,000 nights, but it’s the pros that enter each slumber with a mental encyclopedia of the elements of human comfort. For me, 10,000 nights are a reflection of the 10,000 days that lead me to each sleep. So you want to sleep competitively? I encourage it. Have at it.

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